Soggy Nacho Surprise (AKA CoS) Episode 15: Future Days (June 8 2008)

The CoS team — John, Nick, Justin, Bobby — is back from running around/aground and are in full force (and full frontal).  It’s mostly conversation and music (Soulwax, Soul Jazz, soul food?, Excepter, etc.) for the full two hours, with an unabated NBA finals update and a call from Tommy about a fire at the Peach Pit thrown in just to mess your ears up.

Show numbah fifteen wean queen mezzanine Dramamine travertine skein praline Doreen marine latrine for your spleen.

Baked Potato Lake (AKA CoS) Episode 14: Get Da Travel On (May 25 2008)

Traveling on and on. Wind in the sails.

• Listeners call in to the online voicemail.
• Sean reports from Dubai.
• A backpacker terrorizes the studio.
• John calls in from the Vermonty woods after encountering a party of two wrestlers.
• A Savy episode of the Traveler.
• Music from Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia.
• A bunch of field recordings from Moldova, Romania, Peru, Italy, and Florida.

Fourteen trails and none lead home.

Bobby’s Coffee Stain (AKA CoS) Episode 13: Oh the Fire (May 18 2008)

A show about fire is assumed by many to be destined for CoS lore before it’s dastardly dumfounded by Bobby Robot, a suburban Chicago native whose sexy tin can looks and hot log smoking invade the studio and get Nick all in a tizzy. Bobby tries to prove his pre-programmed intelligence is worthy of a coffee date by dispensing advice to callers regarding the questions that (supposedly) matter: love, the whereabouts of God, etc. After much taunting, Nick reclaims CoS for the human race by dropping more fire ant knowledge than the tinned one. Something amazing happens and then come the pretzels. Music by Excepter, David Kristian, Autechre, and more.

Thirteen shows in and it don’t mattah none.

Moldy Ear of Cornbread (AKA CoS) Episode 12: Religion, Part 2 (May 11 2008)

A second look at the religions that shape our lives and warm our … wait, that’s not what this is about at all. On the air, Nick engages in battle with a caller with whom he has a past. Off the air, a bird dies. Much energy is expended, and callers go wild. You have to hear this one to believe it — it’s like a CoS from a parallel universe. (Some music was played, including by Bjorn Torske.)

Numbah twelve for your shelve (kind of like a shelf bracket but with more bears).

Hip Foam Bootles (AKA CoS) Episode 11: Religion (May 4 2008)

A show about religion, AKA the show you saved your semetic and anti-semetic and quasi-semetic and related and unrelated calls for. The high/lowlights:

• welcome back Nick and your horrific throat disease
• a segment from Thirty-Nine Characters, 12′44″, 1982 by Michael Peppe
• a call from our listener line: “Discovery of the Including Edge and its Implication for Perception”
• “Bent on Reinvention, My Father” by Sean Cole
• Katie joins some inner order, pt. 1
• John makes a religion: Hambonism (based on the theories behind Hambonics, a polytheistic religion)
• reading the TEN HAMANDMENTS!!
• introducing the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
• Katie joins some inner order, pt. 2
• a call from the grave of Mary Baker Eddy – Mt. Auburn Cemetey
• introducing the Church of the Subgenius
• Sean explains Raelism, which leads to a discussion about how to make your own cult/religion
• Katie joins some inner order, pt. 3
• John reads a broccoli-related ham story with seeds and merchants
• Justin administers BATTLEGROUND GOD (Nick and John miraculously emerge unscathed, IE rather rationally consistent)
• Nick plays a story something something something

Show 11 = broccoly (sic) is not an adverb.

You’re Half the Horseman (AKA CoS) Episode 10: Standardized Testing (Apr. 27 2008)

We recreated the worst moments of our young scholastic days by administering standardized tests (to ourselves) that are so horrifying that our studio guests were each held back four grade levels. Sean is forced by callers to apologize for past homunculus research that went awry.  Nick’s roboticized voicebox calls in to our listener line as he recovers from the throat plague in the comfort of his own home. Back in the studio, a John-administered testing showdown: the CoS dual-processor supercomputer tabulated Justin’s and Sean’s #2 pencil scribblings (ALWAYS #2, nothing less on CoS) that was scored 10 to 9.5 in favor of … whom? And in a test and tabulation that stretches past the reaches of this podcast, CoS collectively is welcomed into the United States (that’s 85% correct, you Patrick Henry wanna-be). Music by Monoton, Pole, and TMOFORex.

We hit the big ten-er today.

Y’all Are Insane (AKA CoS) Episode 9: Small Thingers (Apr. 20 2008)

A fascinating discussion of the bestest smallest things on this hot and salty planet and other planets. Random phone calls from random people. Berating Suzanne when she’s out of the room. An otherworldly story and explanation of the Homunculus by Sean, a favorite caller/contributor. And much much much more crap.

• “Funky Little Song” by
  Bruce Haack and Esther Nelson
• Call from Joanne
• Reprise of last week: a recipe from the CoS email (Hambonics: Lanky mommy of 64 peapod children. Who has my frame? What frame? I mean the frame of the shed I was going to build next week.)
• “A Small Piece of My Head” by John
• “Shortnin’ Bread” from Linda Tillery & the Cultural Heritage Choir
• An otherworldly story of the Homunculus by Sean, our favorite caller
• Music is quashed but the day is saved soon after due to a flashback to last week’s recipe when zero points were awarded because Vincent Price did not need any more pate’
• “Hokey Pokeysaurus” from the Music for Little People
• A discussion about the Patchasaurus
• Some song Nick tried to play earlier
• Justin gives a little money to a bum for a story about a little roach
• Choosing Our Own Adventures
• Ashley calls in and drowns to death via the randomizer
• A request for Bush I mean Bread
• Another call and a dark poem from Sean and his star of David earring
• Justin insults the part of the Nebraska territory that is not Nebraska but now some other crappy state
• A story from our CoS emailbox, read by Justin
• An interview with the Institute for Infinitely Small Things
• A call and a story from Tommy about tight fat boy jeans and no fries for lunch
• More Choosing Our Own Adventures
• A song by Caulfield
• Outro

Nine is reeeeal fine.

Achin’ for Bacon (AKA CoS) Episode 8: Food Stuffs (Apr. 13 2008)

Lovin’ up some food on the radio. Your favorite meal munched right into our listener line. Recipes reverse engineered via hambonics. Anti-semetic phone calls instigated by Bread. Bags of pretzels just out of reach are snagged in pairs. And a bunch of other awesome crap(steak sandwiches).

• requested hot track from M31
• announcing the contest: recipes for the CoS easy-bake oven
• the first recipe
• a track from Strange Breaks and Mr. Thing
• “one carrot too many” by John
• “20 kinds of pickles” by John
• more contest rules
• “eating” by Nick
• recipe called in by Suzanne
• “like a monkey in a zoo” by Daniel Johnston
• recipe called in by Ginger = “forks binding into the front of my ponds fronds” (16 points)
• flashback to the previous week: how we screwed up the game of “french toast”, which causes Nick leave the show (and then come back)
• answer to Suzanne’s recipe (0 points)
• “eating all the food” by Justin
• a song
• a hot techno track from Cocoon Comp G
• “broiled rumaki appetizer” read by Justin
• “combinatorial classifications of cooking” by John’s dad
• a short song
• recipe by Nick
• “snacking on butter” by John
• recipe called in by Sean, who is snacking with old tabasco
• “how to use an audio recorder” by Sean
• John tells Nick he gave him a recipe for macaroni salad (negligible points)
• song by Plastikman
• Justin is ripped off by the snack machine when trying to buy pretzels
• Sean calls back; Nick goes to buy Justin’s pretzels
• John gives Sean his recipe: “Goose, OK, bundt cake slurry. Pine away for some. Get some armies for others. Who halves them? …”, but it’s actually a recipe for friends
• CoS eats pretzels while Sean reads recipe poems
• “an essay about mayonnaise” by John
• Nick slathered on a story about a mayonnaise sandwich
• closing, next week’s show

Eight (is grate).

Grandmother’s Horrible Breakfasts (AKA CoS) Episode 7: Randomnity (Apr. 6 2008)

Whatever You Want It To Be Baby Oooh Yeah That’s How It’s Gonna Be You Got It Uh Huh (yeah we might give you more info later but until then you should know that this show is about randomnology and french toast and Canadian gameshow hosts etc. etc.)

Show Sevenz

Hambonics (AKA CoS) Episode 6: Talking About the Weather (Mar. 30 2008)

There is no conversation topic more mundane than talking about the weather, and there is nothing and/or everything mundane about hambonics, so when those two elements mudwrestle to the death it only makes sense that several men of the weather intervene and grind the resulting vomit into a literary sausage.

Oh, and we ditch the weather concept with 15 minutes left in the show to breathe to the death in a classic hambonics-off. Skip to that if you will.

Music from Fuck Buttons, Excepter, Talking Heads, some sitar junk, jijunk junk junk to be had in a playlist soon.

Six bricks turn tricks.